Autism Conference Information

http://www.maapservices.org/MAAP_Conference_Home.htm

Above is the link to an Autism Conference that was recommended to me. When I got the scholarship award, I emailed two people and one person responded in reference to conferences that target the younger generation (meaning, my boys). Brian King, a LCSW and a member of GRASP, recommended this conference. They have a discounted rate for individuals with Aspergers. This is what I am going to hopefully use my portion of the money for and then bring the resources home. It is October 1 and 2 in Indianapolis, Indiana. That is the Wednesday and Thursday prior to Fall Break (and the Rick Springfield Concert...I know...showing my age.)

2008-2009 ... Music Within

Hello All! How has the summer been....???? Please update me.....

This year's theme is the "Music Within" ... this is based on a movie....more to come on that one.

Now, I did win the scholarship. It is $500 total....with $250 going to the school and $250 going to me. I am going to contact the sorority and see if I can use me $250 to attend a conference in Indianapolis October 1 and 2. I made contact with some people that work with the youth side of GRASP and this was recommended to me. It is also targeted toward the boys. I will get that info out too and see if any want to come. When the $250 comes to the school, it will have to be approved by the BOE for spending. I am hoping to improve the selection of Autism/Asperger books in the school library.

Look for us to do something to catch up during the week of August 4...something simple like ice cream again....I can always do ice cream....

End of another Year

As I close out the 2007-2008 school year, I want to thank all my parents for their support of my work with their children. The faith you have in me is not taken lightly.

Today, I received some awesome news. In April, I applied for a scholarship/award through my sorority (Alpha Sigma Alpha) and I had a parent write a recommendation and one of the boys offered. I am honored and blessed to let you know, I received a letter today indicating that I received the award. It is $500 that is split between myself and the school. A little can go a long way. Below is a brief statement about the award. I am also honored by this because Ms. Riley was the teacher for the now famed "Rocket Boys" from the movie October Sky.

The Freida Riley Award

The Freida Riley Award for Teaching Excellence demonstrates Alpha Sigma Alpha’s commitment to a quality education and recognizes outstanding Alpha Sigma Alpha educators. Applications are due April 11, 2008.

Thank you again.

I have mailed out the summer packet that includes the information from this past school year. I am looking forward to the new adventures that next year brings with 4 seniors...wow! I am already doing my research on colleges and scholarships for them.

Have a safe and blessed summer....please let me know how things are going and don't hesitate to contact me if there is something you need.
Christa

Been awhile...

I have met with the boys, twice since my last posting. It is amazing how bogged down you can get. I will be posting the run down of each meeting within the week and send out a short email.

I found this on CNN.com today...she is the boys generation's Temple Grandin...http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/04/04/sara.childers/index.html.

Also, looks like the next AST date is April 24th ???? (don't quote me just yet...it is late and I am doing this off the top of my head...never a good thing)....

Upcoming stuff:
I am working on scheduling my annual parent night for in May. We have already had one of the boys graduate early and one slated to graduate in June...we will have 4 seniors next year....It seems like yesterday they were baby freshman....I know you are thinking what is she talking about, we are the parents....I am so proud of all of them.

I have sent off my scholarship/award application. Due date is April 11th. I don't know what the time frame is for announcing the winner but now I wait. It is your sons and your support that gave me the foundation, strength and courage to apply. For that I am sincerely thankful and blessed. I am also very honored to have had a parent be able to write a letter for me and one of the boys and am very thankful. I will send the essay that I had to write as an attachment in an email.

AST Committee...there has been a committee formed to look at AST and define it. Next year, two of the three upcoming freshman are not on my case load. I plan to advocate for this time to continue to be able to hold "Group" and work with the boys.

T-shirts...I did not have a chance at the last meeting to talk to the boys but Club T-Shirts are a big thing on the Howell campus. CafePress.com has some awesome tees....I am going to feel them out about it...some will some won't and that is fine...It is worth looking at ... there are some that I read and know just which one of the boys would wear them....I enjoyed the one that says "I have Autism...duh!"

On that note...will being sending out a email and posting the rundown soon....

Ughhhhh...Dating and Relationships

Okay, I did it...we talked about dating and relationships. On Wednesday, I gave them each an article from Autism/Asperger Digest written by a female Aspie that is married and instructed them to read it for the meeting on Thursday. Well, a few read it...a few admitted that they did not...and one blew me off and stayed in Academic Support (actually, I think he forgot because I did not see him to remind him that morning). A couple tried to get out of it when they knew the topic and I told them not an option....first, IEP issue...second, parents specifically asked me to cover this issue...third, it was quality Schneider time.
I started off by asking, "what do you think is the greatest difficulty about dating?" I was told that it was because there were no rules, parent pressure to date, and parents being overly protective. I told them I completely understood where they were coming from in relation to there being no rules. I also respected that most of them are very rule based individuals and I could see how that could be difficult for them. I then was given the opportunity to defend the overly protective parent. I explained to them that parents are protective of their children period...so they just needed to deal with that one. I did though explain that since individuals with Autism/Asperger have been identified as being lacking in social skills and therefore as a parent you do become protective of your child so that they do not get hurt. I also explained that in the state of today's society, they are very vulnerable to individuals that could take advantage of their lack of social skills/knowledge and it was a parent's job to make sure that doesn't happen. THEY GOT IT!!!!! THEY ALL AGREED WITH THE ONE THAT STATED WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, IT MAKES SENSE......Lost in Translation no more ... or at least just momentarily.
We then talked about relationship skills and who they feel they establish relationships with easiest. I am not too sure I got an answer to my question, but it was determined that adults are easiest to establish relationships with and it was with those adults that could see that age is a number and there is a noted difference between chronological age vs. mental age. Translation for me: Adults that are not afraid to allow these students to talk with them as they are equals are easiest for them to establish relationships with. Adults that are afraid to have someone that is identified as a "teenager" or a "student" be able to be on the same intellectual plane ... relationships will not be established.
When I asked how long they had known their closest non-family friend...one student indicated 11 years while the others fell in the range of 1 to 3 years. One indicated that they did not have any friends and I said that I was going to have to do something about that despite their protests. All had met their friends through school. One indicated that until the 5th grade when they were told specifically that they could have fun at school and make friends thought that school was only for learning.
We then talked about the statement by the author of what the basic relationship skills were: give-and-take, being clean/neat and not stinking, etc and that they don't develop friendship skills because they don't develop friendships and they don't develop friendships because they spend most of their childhood with individuals that don't develop friendships. Makes sense to me...birds of a feather flock together or we herd them together....The boys indicated that they find it easier to make friendships with individuals that are not NT's (nuerotypicals) and that they agree with what the author has stated. Their peers don't care about learning and they do. Hygiene....I told them that I agree with their parents because I have a 15 year-old son and don't understand why it is so hard myself. They indicated that first, they just don't care. Next, they identified that everything about hygiene is tedious, routine, time consuming and (this was my favorite) not needed for survival. One did ask the others, what about germs...no response from the group.
I asked them "How do you deal with unwritten social rules?" Replies varied from making up their own rules, deal with rules as they go, learn from their mistakes, and to observe from others to learn what the rules are. I asked which ones were the hardest for them? Making people angry, when people beat around the bush (just get to the point!), and if people can't handle them, then it is their problem.
I asked them about Internet dating and social websites...Thoughts varied from it being worse than the real thing and it wasn't real socializing, it doesn't make sense to where is the joy? I asked about their gaming sites...now that was different because you had to know the game to even be there and they can tell when someone is there not for their game because they lack the intelligence and knowledge to be there. I gave them a homework assignment, to include their parents when they are gaming so that you know what is going on (if you already don't)...after they got done looking at me like I had just grown a third eye, audible laughter erupted and I was notified (and this is a classic) parents + games = epic phailure (they choose the ph). So let me know what they have included you in....
To conclude, I asked them two things...to think about the unwritten social rule #6 "Not everyone, who is nice to me is my friend?" and did they want to do something social over break...like a movie that is out on DVD or something to like that....let me know.

Jenny McCarthy Book Out

There has been a great deal of discussion on the discussion board for my grad certificate class about the Jenny McCarthy book that came out this week. While I have not read the book, I have read the excerpt in the People magazine. I was impressed and sometime when I get to read for leisure, I will have this one waiting. Due to the comments being made this week, I felt the need to discuss what on of the boys felt about a cure for autism. It is below....food for thought. As a parent, I think it is our nature to want to cure what ails our children...but these thoughts by one of my boys ... just helps me learn to think differently.

The high school I teach in has approximately 15 kids that are educationally diagnosed with Autism. Of the 15, 10 of them are on my case load. There are 3 that are within the mainstream and 2 within the MR classroom or Low-Incidence. For the kids on my case load we meet approximately every two weeks to discuss issues that are relative to their educational diagnosis. They have named themselves "Group" which I find very appropriate for them...simple and direct. The past two sessions have been creating a list of the things they want people to know about Autism/Aspergers the most. This discussion has led way to the discussion of what if there was a cure? In the past, they have defined Autism/Aspergers as a characteristic, as defining of them. One of my more analytical boys ponders the question: If there is a cure for autism/aspergers and I opt to go for the cure then what would be left of me? Autism/Aspergers is me, it defines me, it is a characteristic of me....why would I want to cure me when I don't think that there is anything wrong with me?

The Things My Boys Want You to Know About ASD...

I purchased the book by Ellen Notbohm "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew" and thought what an outstanding way to start group off this year. Of course, since most of them enjoy sharing their knowledge and perspective (I would not have it any other way), it took us two sessions. I am honored to present the results. The first thing we addressed was the statistic that 1 in every 155 are being diagnosed. I asked why they thought this was happening. The answers were "it is being passed on in DNA because more of us are marrying and reproducing;" "awareness;" and "refinement of the diagnosis."

The Things My Boys Want You to Know...

(1) Being autistic/aspergers is a characteristic...a way of life. It is not an abnormality.

This one really started us off right. With all the talk of a "cure" for autism, the concern was

expressed that what will the effects be? What would be left of me? What is left over?

* Translation for the Nuerotypical: If you cure my autism/aspergers, then you are curing

me of being me. I don't know about you but I would not change a single one of my boys

but I will help them learn to cope within the Nuerotypical world and become contributing

members.

(2) Not all of us have sensory issues...and...not all of them are the same.

I asked about some of the different "classic" sensory issues that I have been presented

through my trainings, readings, and education. One of the boys was able to hear the noise

that florescent lights give off. Some had the ringing in the ear. Light was a visual issue.

Usually it was that it was too bright. One of the boys admitted issues with the low notes of

some things being a sensory issue. The one common thread that most the boys had was

that they did not like crowding. Have you ever walked down the halls of a public high

school?

(3) Please, know that there is a difference between WON'T and CAN'T.

We can be excellent multi-taskers so please don't be offended because I am not ignoring

you. I don't like to look directly into people's eyes. Eyes are the like looking into someone's

soul and that you have access to their emotional state. The eyes offer too much

information...TMI.

Nuerotypical Translation: To be honest, if they are demonstrating that they are grasping

what you are doing then know that their multitasking has not taken away from what you are

teaching. On the flip side, yes as teachers, we do have to monitor what they are doing and if

it is something that is truly a distraction for them and their peers, by all means assist them

with the elimination of this. The eye contact...this is a difficult one. I know that I am guilty of

asking my own children to look me in the eyes. After one of the boys said that it was a

window into someone's soul, I knew that was why I have my own kids do it...there is that

mother's intuition. When I first started working with each one of my boys, they did not make

eye contact with me. After being with them for a year to four years, today they are able to

look into my eyes. I am honored.

As far as won't and can't, you can not assume that these guys are like the typical student. A

few of my boys won't do something because they think that they can't fail and fear they will

be letting someone down. Sometimes, it just takes getting to know them a little more than the

average kid. Otherwise, ask the expert on them...that would be the individual

themselves...next best thing though is Mama.

(4) Language is a concern for us but for some of us it is because our language is so advanced. Be

patient because sometimes my language has limitations.

The boys echoed the common theme of "be specific" and that they "can't read minds."

Sarcasm is a difficult thing for some of us. It is hard to determine joking and lying. We had a

great discussion on the meaning of words. The example used was that of someone lying or

someone saying that they were wrong. It was felt that it did not matter because they were

both the same. It was also expressed that a great deal of the time when they say something

improper, it isn't necessarily to hurt someone but we truly don't know the full ramifications

of what we have said.

Nuerotypical Translation: Most of the boys are concrete, black-and-white thinkers. They

are all richly intelligent in their own right. When I was able to express that the word "lying"

has greater ramifications than to say that you were "wrong." I told them that it can actually

go back to the Biblical sense that "thou shalt not lie." That is pretty big but for someone to

say they are "wrong," they are admitting a mistake and therefore there are less

consequences at times. I can always count on one of the boys to say the very thing that the

rest of the class is thinking and knows the social ramifications so do not say it their thoughts

out loud.

(5) Repetition for me is good. I don't like change in my routine.

One of the things that was a concern for some was when they do not know that there will be

a substitute in one of their classes. One even admitted to checking to see if he was in the

right place at the right time. Another indicated that substitutes were change in the teaching

style they routinely expect.

Nuerotypical Translation: It is okay to tell them when you will be out. Let them prepare

for a change. The day will run so much more smoothly for all involved. These are

individuals who thrive on structure, order and routine...no matter how disheveled they

appear. Temple Grandin describes her brain as a series of file folders. I know that I would

be better off if someone was able to do some filing in my brain because it can be very

cluttered at times.

(6) We are all DIFFERENT!

This segwayed into the distinction being made between them not showing their work on a

majority of math problems vs. them being accused of cheating. They really do want you to

focus on what they can do and build from there.

Nuerotypical Translation: Go back to my title of this entire blog...It is just a different way of

thinking. I think that I am going to make a laminated sheet that says, "I need you to show

your work because you can't turn your brain in as your homework." Everyone of my boys

is different and am so blessed for that. Never a dull moment or day.

(7) Yes, I am going to have meltdowns occasionally.

Okay, so if I am having a meltdown, I have probably already created a scene...so please do

not help me make the scene any bigger or more embarrassing than I have already made it.

It was also echoed that the meltdown occurs because I have have a need that is not being

met. Please use phrases like "Let's go for a walk" or "Let's go in the hall and talk."

Nuerotypical Translation: Yes, I know that in the real world when someone is having a

meltdown there will not be a flashing sign that says "I have a ASD. So please don't treat me

like someone else that is making a scene. I have special needs." I do know that helping

these boys escape what they perceive to be a bad situation already with some dignity left,

make the solving of the issue and putting the coping mechanism in place for the next time

(because there is always change, there will be a next time) so as to avoid as big of a scene or

for the individual to be able to handle the situation in an appropriate manner.

(8) Bullies....just because I look different, act different, doesn't mean that you need to target

me.

Nuerotypical Translation: That alone is pretty powerful. I am a firm believer that if we

practiced a little more tolerance and respect for other people, this would be a much better

world to live in.

Okay, so we did not get to 10 but I think that these 8 are extremely powerful. I asked them how they wanted to share this, if they wanted to share this with their peers? They do and we talked about some ideas...an awesome suggestion was made and I will make sure it goes to the right places. I did tell them that I would be sharing this with their teachers as a way of supporting them, the teachers, counselors, and administrative staff.

Next topic: social interaction and dating....